Reset

The last few weeks have been an emotional rollar coaster for me and my family. I was told by someone I considered family how terrible of a person I was and that her whole family hated me and that I don't have any friends and on and on. It hurt my heart to the core that I even considered taking my own life as I started to believe her. I Have always struggled with depression and anxiety and since having Lyndin it has gotten much worse. I have hit rock bottom before but this time felt much lower. I had never been hurt by someone I had so much respect for. My family had lost a support system and i lost all of my confidence i had as a wife, mother and person. I am constantly hearing the hurtful words she said to me over and over in my head and it hurts me more and more daily. This has been really hard on Will as he is busy working and leaving me alone can be unsettling to him. Not knowing how to help me or what i am thinking is scary for him. Probably more scary for him as it is for me. Today I looked at the calender and realized that it was memorial day and as much as I have going on in my life....i still have a life to fight for as so many people lost their lives to give me that right. So today I am deciding to start a new chapter in my journey of healing and moving on past this. I am going to look at this as a growing opportunity. The person that hurt me so much doesn't deserve to have me and my daughter in her life. Someone so hateful and hurtful has no place in my life. I wish her healing and closure as she now has to live with the actions she made. I will look back at my respect I had for her and make sure next time I hold someone to the level I held her that they deserve that respect.

For someone to degrade someone to the level that she degraded me is not only hurtful and harmful but it goes to show her true colors. I hope God can give her the guidance she needs to not be so mean to people that once looked up to her.

So here is to a new restart on life. Goodbye to the hatred and hello to the people that truly do have my back and deserve my respect.  I have chosen to block her on Facebook and delete most of her family as facebook friends in order to block my life from her. As hard as it was to hit delete on some of her family I knew it was the right thing to do. To the ones that remain  friends I hope you understand I never had any intention of hurting you or your family and i do value our friendship.