Highs and Lows...

The last week and a half surrounding Christmas came with some highs and some lows. On Thursday night before Christmas Weekend we had our first lamb make her appearance on the farm. Lyndin was totally in love and had to push mamma lamb out of the way so she could pet the baby. It was an awesome experience to see Lyndin so excited and not afraid to be in the pen. So now our nightly routine has added checking for baby lambs and goats. Thankfully Lyndin cannot make it over the gates otherwise I would be in a lot of trouble. 

After the high of a baby lamb we noticed that one of the cows that I AI'd and due in a month was acting strange. After some investigation we discovered she aborted her calf and after all we could do to keep it alive it took it's last breath. With both of us crying, Will looked at me and said, "I am so proud of you." Not know what he was referring to I asked him why and he stated "Your AI stuck!" I couldn't help but smile because after all the work we go through to build our herd and all the lows that we face, Will say the positive! I was so upset that we lost the calf but knew we did everything we could to save it. So now we move on and look forward to the next calves to be born and praying they wait until their due dates.

Christmas went off without a hitch. Lyndin loved opening presents even if they were not hers. She doesn't understand why she is getting presents, but she enjoyed playing with her cousins and friends.

Christmas night we were hit with another set back. It was terribly windy and all of a sudden I heard something so I went to the door to look and all I could see was the lights flickering on and off. So Will bundled up and went outside with the flashlight. As Lyndin and I watched from inside I noticed that I could see his flashlight shinning in the sky while he was in the calving barn........The wind took the roof off on the end of our shed. Luckily no cattle were hurt and the roof can be fixed so insurance was called and hopefully we will be back in business soon. Thankfully we have other pens and shelters that we can move cattle around to. It just all seems to hit at once.

Once we get through New Year's we will all be happy to be back to our "normal" routine.

Baby! It's cold outside!

We had a brisk start to our holiday season with negative temperatures as the highs. We welcomed Will's mom, sister and nephew home for Africa to celebrate Christmas with them. It was quite a cultural shock for them with the cold temperatures. His nephew has never seen snow and is hoping it warms up enough outside for him to enjoy it.

We started off the Christmas season by taking Lyndin to see Santa. She was a good sport, but wasn't into him. Maybe next year!

On Thursday, we met up with Will's dad and friend to enjoy supper together as they had just gotten back from warmer temperatures. They sure enjoyed their time away and the nice weather. We were meeting in Sumner so we were able to witness their new light display at the city part. What an awesome display that corresponds to music. It was neat to show Will's nephew the lights.

Friday and Saturday we received quite a bit of snow and then blowing wind. We were suppose to venture down to Cedar Rapids for the Glaser family Christmas, but after careful consideration we decided it was best not to go. Luckily we were not the only ones that made that decision so it will be rescheduled.

Sunday in negative 19 degree weather we celebrated Christmas with Will's brother and his family. Lyndin was able to meet the newest member to the family and loved it. She loves being bigger than someone as that doesn't happen very often.

This week is work as normal. I am taking Friday off to spend with Lyndin before the busy holiday weekend. We are doing Christmas with my family on Friday night, Christmas Eve church and seafood with my parents and Will's mom, sister and nephew and will spend Christmas day with my mom's side. Will's family is leaving right after Christmas and we will enjoy having Christmas with Will's "brothers" and their families across the road next week. I always look forward to that one as Lyndin loves all the "cousins".

Happy Holidays and God Bless!

Is Christmas over yet?

It is December 12th and I am ready for Christmas to be over. As if our lives were not busy enough, we through in extra parties, suppers, gifts and errands to be done. I have never been a big fan of Christmas as it has become a commercialized holiday and the true meaning has gotten lost. It is not about gifts and Santa, it is about celebrating our Lord and Saviors birth. We have 2 weeks worth of non stop things we need to attend along with work and chores at home. I learned really quickly that the farm doesn't stop even though Christmas is upon us. Actually it gets busier. Once again we have snow on the ground before the ground had a chance to freeze so we are doing chores in a sloppy mess. We don't have warm enough or big enough cabs for Lyndin to ride with so Will is stuck to doing chores by himself. Luckily they only take about an hour as being in zero degree weather for to long is hard on a person. Lyndin unhappily watches from the house and prayers for it to warm up. It has been hard on us both having to be inside, but with this cold weather inside it the best option.

We have gotten Lyndin a few small gifts from Santa for her to open so she can experience some of the hype even though she won't understand what is going on. On Wednesday we will go to the annual Soup with Santa in Lawler. We will see how she will behave this year as she is more aware of her surroundings. Then we start Christmas celebrates on Thursday until after Christmas.

I look forward to seeing all our family and friends and getting to spend time with them, but is Christmas over yet?

Failing as a mom once again

As I woke up this morning with my husband long gone deer hunting I saw snow on the ground and a messy house. I look at Lyndin who is up smiling and ready to start the day, but I guarantee that her idea of fun is not laundry and house cleaning. My anxiety heighten and my stress level soars as I wonder how I am going to get this done. Instantly I feel like a mom failure as I can't handle it all.

I have struggled with depression most of my life and still actively do and after having Lyndin my depression added on anxiety and it is a whole new ballgame. When we were pregnant Will had all these ideas of what being a father would be like, how fun and easy it would be. I on the other hand knew I would be doing most of it alone, but I never realized how hard it would be. Don't get me wrong, Will is a great father when he is here. The times he is not here is a struggle.

As I sit here on a Sunday I am somewhat resentful that Will is out doing something he loves, having a hobby isn't something I have been able to do since Lyndin was born. Hell I even have to find a babysitter on the Saturday mornings I work. I just wish he would understand how much we give up to be a mom and how little they sacrifice.

So here is to another day of wishing I could get the house clean but instead I will do whatever it takes to make Lyndin happy and pickup what I can.